yeah, what do you have to say for yourself?

emagic: NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying...

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 01:00:57 -0500

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that “to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait.”

“After we did it, I was kind of like, that’s it?” Mr. Jonas told reporters at a New York press conference.

As to whether Mr. Jonas’ bride agreed with his “that’s it?” assessment, Mr. Jonas remarked, “That’s what she said.

via

L M F A O

secretsecretdinoclub: this is so great! emagic: this is so...

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 00:09:06 -0500

secretsecretdinoclub:

this is so great!

emagic:

this is so sick ,composed using chords, bass notes and vocal samples from the Disney Pixar film ‘Up’.

this might honestly be the best thing from 2009

sexmusic: i’ve been thinking // handsome boy modeling school...

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 22:02:10 -0500

sexmusic:

i’ve been thinking // handsome boy modeling school & cat power

download: amazon |

i fucking love thissong

wearetheweirdos: OMG I’M MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!! via malfoyy

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 20:22:00 -0500

wearetheweirdos:

OMG I’M MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!!

via malfoyy

setyourgoals: hiimgina: lol oh omg adlkgahsdlkgalnalkblAKSNlk...

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 02:50:16 -0500

setyourgoals:

hiimgina:

lol oh

omg adlkgahsdlkgalnalkblAKSNlk I’m having a fit

i am wrapped up in an identical snuggie right now.

The Decade's Best Books, by Nicole Lamy

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:25:37 -0500

The Decade's Best Books, by Nicole Lamy:

Harry Potter did not make my list. There. I said it. I read every last one of the wizard’s adventures, I swear, but now the whole experience is kind of a blur of Quidditch and complicated potions. And while there is no denying their influence on book publishing, I can’t very well list books I can barely remember.

The Neuroscience of Screwing Up

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:00:26 -0500

The Neuroscience of Screwing Up:

givemesomethingtoread:

The reason we’re so resistant to anomalous information — the real reason researchers automatically assume that every unexpected result is a stupid mistake — is rooted in the way the human brain works. Over the past few decades, psychologists have dismantled the myth of objectivity. The fact is, we carefully edit our reality, searching for evidence that confirms what we already believe. Although we pretend we’re empiricists — our views dictated by nothing but the facts — we’re actually blinkered, especially when it comes to information that contradicts our theories. The problem with science, then, isn’t that most experiments fail — it’s that most failures are ignored.

The Ten Days of Christmas

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:33:16 -0500

fireland:

[I wrote this in December 2001 and now I’m regifting it because I couldn’t think of anything else to get you.]

1. I’m fingering bath balls like Captain Queeg. Mom’d prefer the, the what, the Serenity, maybe? Or the Sandalwood Rejuvenation? Or better yet just go for the pre-wrapped basket with the goat’s milk soap and lavender sachet?

2. Identically pinched expressions on the concourse. Everyone’s going back somewhere that knows their real story.

3. The accent comes back to me without a fight. I pretend the breath vapor is cigarette smoke, something I haven’t done in fifteen years.

4. “Little more nog than egg here.” ¶ “Got that straight. Only way to get through this.” ¶ “Those icicle lights can rot in hell.” ¶ “Chicken wire in the shape of a reindeer, all lit up. That’s the way to do it.”

5. My stepmother is pouring some salad dressing and notices the expiration date is from the 1980s. She makes a joke and my grandmother withers in humiliation and my stepmother gets very quiet and then excuses herself from the table and locks the guestroom door and doesn’t come out until the next morning.

6. “The Christmas Song,” David Benoit; “O Tannenbaum,” The Vince Guaraldi Trio; “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” Ella Fitzgerald; “Frosti,” Björk; “I’ll Be Home For Christmas,” Frank Sinatra; “Carol of the Bells” b/w “Minstrels,” George Winston; “Fac 21,” Stars of the Lid.

7. There are kids everywhere. Babies with soft heads. Little tiny overalls crisp with dried food. The advent calendar drives them insane. They pull on their silky hair in frustration. They clench pant legs and speak in vowels.

8. The minivans wait in line to see The Most Decorated House in the City. Pop makes a u-turn when we’re asked to pay a dollar.

9. We sing drunken carols to the neighbors and they don’t open the door. I lift up my brother and he tears down their icicle lights and buries them in a trash can already stuffed with spent cardboard tubes, animal bones, styrofoam peanuts.

10. We agree on a wake-up time. The kids suffer a heated, five-minute insomnia. I stay up and watch the folks add filler to the stockings (oranges, novelty boxer shorts), dismayed that I’m now allowed to see this. They collapse and I eat the cookies left by the fireplace and the house is absolutely silent, lit only by the tree. It is the moment on which all of winter rests and this year its weight is reassuring.

huntedvagina: oh SNUGGIES?? OMG YESSS

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:30:03 -0500

huntedvagina:

oh

SNUGGIES?? OMG YESSS

Tongue Twisters

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:28:59 -0500

Tongue Twisters:

givemesomethingtoread:

In search of the world’s hardest language

teenage wasteland

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:03:25 -0500

i can’t deal with emotions or relationships with other people anymore. i am tired of expectations and tired mainly of the ones i have for myself,and for certain others. everything’s failed or fallen apart.

i don’t know what i want, i don’t ever know and i’ll never know, but what i have now is completely wrecking me.

this is why i distract myself. all the time. with school or college or breakthrough or whatever because the amount of time i have free is directly proportional to what amounts to an increasingly deblitating feeling of dementia, almost.

i don’t like it. i don’t like me.

i figure i need help but if it’s just me…?

huntedvagina: (via meganshmegan)

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 23:56:15 -0500

huntedvagina:

(via meganshmegan)

I can't feel any part of my body right now!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:06:13 -0500

setyourgoals:

Co0o0o0o0ol

how are you typing

(via havent-got-a-prayer) I CAN’T EVEN WAIT!!!

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:51:44 -0500

(via havent-got-a-prayer)

I CAN’T EVEN WAIT!!!

it’s not like i’m unreasonably pissed about no longer living in the tristate area...

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:59:54 -0500

it’s not like i’m unreasonably pissed about no longer living in the tristate area because i enjoy being snowed in

or anything

hi miami! i need new friends. deliver the fuck up.

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:44:10 -0500

via text/skype (i love my friends)

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:48:40 -0500

[9:45:04 PM] birdzies: matt just wrote me a math poem:
[9:45:14 PM] birdzies: tracking the wanderings of your mind
[9:45:16 PM] birdzies: like chasing sine
[9:45:20 PM] birdzies: with cosine
[9:45:25 PM] birdzies: always half pi radians behind
[9:45:31 PM] birdzies: that is nerd love right there <3

prettyfoods: thisiswhyyourefat: Butterbeer Ale boiled with...

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 01:25:44 -0500

prettyfoods:

thisiswhyyourefat:

Butterbeer

Ale boiled with butter, sugar, an egg yolk and topped with a whipped cream and nutmeg.

sexmusic: volcano // damien rice feat. lisa hannigan

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:55:58 -0500

sexmusic:

volcano // damien rice feat. lisa hannigan

sometimes i think that if i had the choice i'd do it all over without ever making friends.

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 22:49:45 -0500